This morning one of the doctors came by. I wasn't in hospital, so Antoinette and Sandro ("the night watch") had to listen to the harsh medical reality: "there is not much we can do, so whenever a bed is available at oncology we will move Angele there into palliative care".
I already knew this, I already spoke to the doctors. Still, it went like a ripple effect through the whole family here and even I for a moment started doubting. I came to hospital with the kids, and Angele was far away mentally. Hardly responding, drifting away, and the nurses already started preparations for drip feeding.
I asked her: are you still fighting? She mumbled, from far far away: "Yes...". Is it too much? Are you giving up? "Mmm... no...". I am not dramatizing, it was faint. She was barely there. Hanging on to a thread.
When the kids gave her a kiss, she was awake for a few seconds, and gave the most heart warming smile you can ever imagine. But that was it. Nothing else.
I left the hospital shortly after and I have to admit this was the the closest I came to thinking this might be the end. Started texting my friends and family back in The Netherlands. But then the little sparkle of hope became a big flaming fire.
The following is all from hear-say and pictures and videos Angele's family sent me from hospital. I was at home, with the kids. But something amazing happened...
Miran dropped by at hospital. Miran and Angele share a deep connection, and somehow this visit triggered Angele into being wide awake, back on earth, laughing, hungry, and eating! The love these 2 have for each other is amazing, and it showed. And maybe this is the turning point.
She ate a yoghurt, mashed potatoes, a (tiny bit of) Big Mac. Of course she's exhausted and went back to sleep after. It seems to be a different kind of sleep.
So, to me, this just goes to show that love heals. It shows that you should never give up. It shows that being positive can make literally all the difference in this harsh world. And as long as we keep on showering Angele with our positivity and love she might be able to climb out of this!
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